Cranky

I am cranky because of you. I am cranky because you are not there when I need you. I am cranky because I was left alone when I needed someone the most. I am just plain cranky. I do not feel loved. I just feel alone. At the moment. For a very long moment already. I feel like returning to my nutshell again. In my own comfort zone. And keep everything bottled up inside. No one is willing to listen. No one is there for me. Not anymore. Perhaps I have done something wrong. But I don't know what. No one wants to tell me. I am left in the dark. What the heck.

I feel very distant from you lately. You were not as friendly as before. You do not care as much as before. Your replies are short, not as warming as before. Previously, I would smile. But now, I do not. My heart is like "emotionless". All I feel now is HURT. But I can't cry it out. I just can't. It's so heavy inside and I don't feel comfortable. I want to let it all out but I can't. I don't know what to do.

Perhaps the only cure is to travel uphill again and play all the rides. I shall schedule my own Genting trip. Travel solo. Since I'm going to be left alone at home on 30th and 31st May, I might as well go to Genting and holiday on my own before final exam starts.

Date: 30th - 31st May 2008
Destination: Genting Highlands
Transportation: Walk to KTM, KTM to KL SENTRAL, bus to Skyway, Skyway to Genting Highlands

Hopefully after that, I will be able to find myself once again and be happy like before.