A matter of trust

To not be trusted is more painful than to have nobody to trust. How many of you agree with that? I know I do.

I bring this up because of some of my friends (not blaming anyone, though). When they run into difficulties or problems, usually I will be the last to know what's happening. Now, usually I don't have a problem with that. It's just that sometimes it makes me feel bad when my friends are in trouble, and I don't even know they're having problems, let alone help them. Having no ability to help a friend is one thing; being totally ignorant about a friend's troubles is a little too much, don't you think? Especially when the entire world knows everything before I even have the dimmest idea.

But that's my daily reality. It pains me to realise that the people around me that I love and care about don't feel comfortable sharing their pain with me.

I dread the day one of my friends would just leap off a building, without me realizing why, despite everything happening right in front of my eyes.

Perhaps I'm just an incompetent friend. A failure as a companion.